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Hello my name is Jerral Campfield and this web site is dedicated to Moral Recognition Therapy using Biblical principles. Please come back often to join me in understanding Gods hands are outstretched still to forgive.

Violence Part 3  E-mail
Contributed by Jerral Campfield   
Sunday, 12 June 2005

When we look at anger and what causes it we find the heart of man is desperately wicked. Many times this anger leads to Domestic abuse and we need to be alert to the Signs & Symptoms.

Domestic violence takes many forms. The most commonly reported form of domestic violence is physical assault, which includes punching, kicking, grabbing, slapping, choking, poking, pulling hair, twisting arms, biting, beating and using a weapon. Intimidation is another form of domestic violence, and it may include scaring the abused person with looks, actions, gestures, yelling, or smashing things. Abusers also may threaten to kill their partners, take away children or commit suicide.

Emotional abuse is also considered domestic violence. This involves putting people down by calling them names, making them feel like they are crazy, treating them like servants. Another element is isolation, in which abusers isolate their partner from people who are important to them. The abuser also may control all the finances and try to prevent the partner from getting or keeping a job.

Sexual abuse is also considered domestic violence. Abused people are often coerced into having sex with their partners. Spiritual abuse is another form, in which abusers don't allow partners to practice their religion.

 

When we look at domestic abuse we need to see the Risk Factors.

There are no stereotypical factors that make a person likely to become abusive. People often blame domestic violence on substance abuse, but that's a myth. Chemical dependency and domestic violence are two separate problems, and if you address only one of them, it's not going to solve the other.

Abusers come from all walks of life. They haven't necessarily been abused as children, they aren't from a certain socioeconomic group, and most don't have a major mental illness.

The dynamics of abusive relationships do have certain characteristics, however. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 95 percent of reported assaults on spouses or ex-spouses are committed by men against women. Abuse also can happen in same-sex relationships. In all cases, the abuser chooses to use a learned behavior to control his partner. Domestic violence is not about just losing your temper, it's about controlling someone. When this happens we see many complications.

FBI statistics indicate that each year about 1,400 women in the United States die as a result of domestic violence. Often the most dangerous time is when a woman tries to leave. That's when she's most at risk of being killed.

A number of factors often prevent people from admitting they are being abused and leaving the abusive partner. The biggest factor is often fear. A woman may have been beaten down and intimidated to the point where she feels as though no one is going to believe her, or no one will help her if she tells about the abuse.

A lot of women also get caught in what's called the "cycle of violence."

After a violent episode, the abuser will typically be very apologetic and loving, often showering his partner with gifts and promises that things will get better. And then he abuses her again. Typically, each time it happens the abuse becomes worse, and the cycle becomes shorter. But often the abuser is the woman's main, or sole, source of love and affection, so she gets stuck in the cycle.

It may be particularly hard for people who have grown up in abusive situations and have been victims their whole lives, to recognize that the abuse isn't normal. They may simply not know anything different. That is when we need to address it, or get some one close to us that can tell us the truth. We do not need sympathy we need empathy. Call a professional or minister and let them know what is happening. Notice we need help, or it is going to get worse. Only the Lord has the ability to get us through the most difficult of circumstances dealing with anger. Learn to turn it over to the Lord, give it up or it will lock you up. I see this every day from people in jai, because of not being able to control the circumstance, but the circumstances control them.

Read Matthew 18 again and again until you under stand the principles of forgiveness. Couple 1 Corinthians 13 with Matthew 18 and you'll find victory after victory in Jesus. 

May the Lord bless you as you put your confidence in the Lord of Lord and the King of Kings.

 


Copyright 2005 Jerral Campfield, All rights reserved.