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Hello my name is Jerral Campfield and this web site is dedicated to Moral Recognition Therapy using Biblical principles. Please come back often to join me in understanding Gods hands are outstretched still to forgive.

Anger Management Part 1  E-mail
Contributed by Jerral Campfield   
Tuesday, 15 March 2005

Here is a Life Skills Class I teach at the Restitution Center in Union Gap on Anger Management that is of great interest and needs to be understood by all. Only the Lord can give us the ability to be in control of our anger as we cry out for help, and do not give way to the devil, but trust the Lord.

Anger Management

Accept that most things in the world are out of your control.

Accept that it is your choice to get angry about those things.
No one makes you angry.
Life is unfair. Waste no energy lamenting or trying to change that fact.
No one likes to be around an angry person. No one feels like helping an
angry person.
So why be angry? Maybe you really don't want your problems solved. Maybe you just want to complain and wail and gnash your teeth.

Take stock of yourself. What do you want?
You should smile more. Your face won't break.
Anger is a weed; hate is the tree. -St. Augustine
Anger makes a rich man hated and a poor man scorned. -Thomas Fuller
"In the depth of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an
invincible summer."-Albert Camus 

Rules for Direct Verbal Expression of Anger  

1. Say what happened. 

Do:
Be very specific.
Say exactly what happened, when, where and how often. 

Don't:
Describe your emotional reaction to it yet.
Use abstract or vague terms.
Generalize.
Guess about the other person's intentions or motives. 

2. Say how you feel about it. 

Do:
Speak calmly.
State feelings in a positive way.
Say how you feel about the situation, not about the person. 

Don't:
Deny your feelings.
Unleash emotional outbursts.
Put the other person down.
Attack the entire character of the person. 

3. Say exactly what you want the other person to do. 

Do:
Request a small change.
Request only one or two changes at one time.
Say exactly what behaviors you want to see stopped and those you want to see continued.
Ask for something the person can actually do. 

Don't:
Merely imply that you'd like a change.
Ask for too big a change.
Ask for too many changes.
Ignore the other person's needs.
Assume that only the other person has to change. 

4. Say why. 

Do:
Say exactly how their change in behavior will help you.
Say exactly how their change in behavior will be good for them.
Say how bad things will be if their behavior doesn't change 

Don't:
Be ashamed to say why you want the change.
Threaten.
Bully.
Be ashamed to say how important their behavior is to you. 


Copyright 2005 Jerral Campfield, All rights reserved.